CoMpUtEr ViRuS
by Shin aK1ra-sama
Summary: A transfer student enrolls into North High...Halfway during the semester. Out of all the chances, he lands in Haruhi's section. Now that she knows about him, it's time to voluntary arrest him and bring him to the S.O.S. Brigade! "Ke? Naze, ore da?"


"Finally! I've made it into North High…" a youth stretches his arms before entering the high school building before him.

"North High…The high school that I've always wanted to go to…" the youth sighs then spontaneously laughs, "Pathetic! I had to retake the entrance exams and enroll right in the middle of the semester! Hahaha!"

"Pehaps…things will turn out much better once I get inside!" the youth laughs, as he enters the building.

-- -- --

**#1 THE TIMESLIPPER**

-- -- --

**I do not own Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu.**

**Notes before you begin: This is set a little over a year after the start of SHnY.  
I just had to make that clear.  
**

-- -- --

**note:** "assumed Japanese"; "**assumed English**"; "thinking"; "EMPHASIZING"; "ASSUMED ENGRISH"

-- -- --

"Wow! So this is what the school is like!" the youth says to himself. He has brown hair that only barely passes his chin. His dark brown eyes emanate a sense of an easy-going attitude. His build seems average…along with everything else physical about him. Even his bag seems normal, except for the baseball bat-shaped keychain…which appears to be a baseball bat with bat wings. He also seems to be attracting some attention, since, unlike the other students, he isn't wearing the North High seifuku…He's using his last school's seifuku…A navy blue gakuran, although the top is completely unbuttoned, revealing his red undershirt.

"You there!" an annoying voice calls to the youth, causing him to turn to the source, "The school code for male seifuku calls for—"

"Excuse me, but I'm a transfer student," the youth explains, "I just arrived in Nishinomiya a few days ago…So, I've never had the chance to buy a seifuku here. My apologies…"

"Hmph, as long as you get the proper seifuku by next week, I won't report you!" the middle-aged man walks away in a huff.

"Looks like a Vice Principal," the youth sighs.

-- -- -- -- --

"Looks like a Vice Principal…" the youth sighs.

The middle-aged man explains, "I appreciate the compliment, but as I said the school code for—"

"Ke? But you just—" the youth couldn't believe that the man just suddenly reappeared in front of him.

"Excuse me?!" the middle-aged man barks, "What is your name?"

"My name?" the youth repeats then answers, "O-Boku no namae wa Shiki Tsukimaru desu! (M-My name is Shiki Tsukimaru!)"

"I'll have to bring you into my office now for disobeying the rules of the school!" the middle-aged man grabs Tsukimaru's arm.

"But—you didn't give me a chance to explain!" Tsukimaru yells, attracting the gazes of many of the surrounding students…with his numerous complaints and protests.

-- -- --

After that weird event, the homeroom of class 2-A is starting.

The professor makes an announcement to the students, "Today, I've been told that we would have a new student…but he seems to be absent on his first day…"

Suddenly, the door to the classroom swings wide open, revealing a desperate-looking Tsukimaru. The scene completely catches the attention of everyone in the classroom, including two important people.

Tsukimaru enters the classroom in a rush and slams the door close, before yelling, "I'm not absent!"

"Ah, so, you must have gotten lost?" the professor asks.

"I was just…hauled in from…the disciplinary committee!" Tsukimaru breathes heavily.

"You have a record on your first day? I see, you must be a delinquent!" the professor jumps into conclusions.

"No! He just hauled me for not having the right seifuku!" Tsukimaru retorts.

"Ah, that must be Tobito-sensei," the professor replies then turns to the class, "This is the transfer student, Shiki Tsukimaru. He just moved in from Hokkaidou. Please make him feel at home."

"I'mpleasedtomeetyouall!" Tsukimaru quickly greets, as he bows to the class.

-- -- --

During the afternoon break, Tsukimaru sits alone at the roof and eats his lunch of fastfood. After a while, he talks to himself, "Ku, it happened again!"

He scoffs, "Ever since I passed the entrance exams here, I've been getting some sort of **déjà vu**-**time travel** nonsense!"

"If anything else weird happens! It'll be too soon!" he yells aloud.

"Hey, you!" a female voice calls, this time.

"I really wish that I didn't say that out loud…" Tsukimaru mutters before turning to the owner of the voice, "Yes?"

"You're that transfer student, right?" the girl asks. She short brown hair that only barely passes her shoulders. She wears what appears to be a hairband and a ribbon on her hair. Her brown eyes emanate a sense of playfulness and seriousness at the same time. In general, she seems average in almost every aspect.

"Kirei…(Beautiful…)" he mutters.

-- -- -- -- --

"Kirei…" he mutters.

"Huh? Did you say something?" the girl asks, "Shesh, you must have psychic powers to know that I was coming!"

"Ke?" Tsukimaru looks around, "Did it happen again?"

"So, you're that transfer student, right?" the girl asks.

"Y-Yeah," Tsukimaru quickly stands up.

"Great, come with me!" the girl quickly snatches his hand and forces him to follow her to another building…he barely had enough time to grab the rest of his lunch…but he was able to.

"W-Where are you taking me?!" Tsukimaru yells, "_Could she possibly have heard me call her that…and may have done a love-at-first-sight thing?! So, she's bringing me to some secluded place to…_(insert ecchi thoughts here)"

After having said that, Tsukimaru starts blushing…beet red…and even begins to salivate.

"Here we are!" the girl opens a door that has a sign above that reads "Literature Club".

"Here?" Tsukimaru blushes again and reluctantly looks inside and sees that there are more people inside the room. Upon seeing that, he sighs, "Huh? _I knew that it was too good to be true…_"

"What, Haruhi?" another second year asks. He has short brown hair that seems to point down, a lot. He seems to have an average build, and his brown eyes read, "sarcastic and intelligent."

"Haruhi-san?" a girl of less than average of physical stature turns to the girl that dragged Tsukimaru into the room. She has long orange hair and a noticeably large bust. Her brown eyes emanate a sense of shyness and comeliness.

"Ke, she's even cuter!" Tsukimaru mutters.

"Who's that?" the short girl asks.

"Him?" the first girl points at Tsukimaru.

"Huh?" the other guy looks up and yells, "Isn't that Shiki-san?!"

"Hey, aren't you my classmate?" Tsukimaru points at the guy then looks at the first girl's face, "Now that I think about it, you're my classmate, as well!"

"Watashi wa Suzumiya Haruhi (I'm Suzumiya Haruhi). I'm the leader and founder of the **S.O.S.** Brigade!" the first girl explains, "…and you are going to be our newest member!"

"Excuse me?" Tsukimaru is taken aback by her words, "I demand to know why I have to join this club!"

"Don't even think about joining other clubs, 'cause I'll find you and drag you back here!" Haruhi demands.

"That doesn't seem very friendly…" Tsukimaru comments.

"Wa—Watashi no namae wa Asahina Mikuru desu (M-My name is Asahina Mikuru). It's a pleasure to meet you," Mikuru shyly shakes hands with Tsukimaru.

"_Such soft hands…_" Tsukimaru shakes Mikuru's hand for…over a minute.

"Sh-Shiki-san?" Mikuru tries to ask, "C-Can I have m-my hand back?"

"Ki!" Tsukimaru quickly frees Mikuru's hand, "My apologies, Asahina-san."

"I'm guessing now you'll want to stay, right?" Haruhi taunts Tsukimaru, "Since I'm sure you'd like to have a Lolita girl with huge breasts!"

"Shut up!" Tsukimaru blushes then notices another girl by the window. She has short purple hair that would barely reach her shoulders, an average physical stature, and noticeably pale skin. As far as the aura is concerned, she seems very…stoic. He asks, "Who's that?"

"That's Nagato Yuki, the only member of the Literature Club," the other guy explains.

"Ah, that's right! I saw that this is the literature club room…" Tsukimaru realizes, "Wait…did you say 'only member'?"

"Yep," the other guy affirms.

"And you are…?" Tsukimaru points at the guy.

"That's Kyon," Haruhi cuts in, "the co-founder of the **S.O.S.** Brigade."

"Co-founder?" Tsukimaru asks, "You seem normal enough."

"And I'd like to keep it that way," Kyon replies.

"What do you mean by that?" Tsukimaru asks.

-- -- -- -- --

"What do you mean by that?" Tsukimaru asks.

"It means that Kyon and I are the founders of the **S.O.S.** Brigade!" Haruhi replies.

"That's not…_Don't tell me…!_" Tsukimaru sighs, "Nevermind…_It happened again, didn't it? At least, it didn't get me into trouble or completely change a conversation…_"

"So, you'll join the **S.O.S.** Brigade, won't you?" Haruhi asks.

"And if I refuse?" Tsukimaru asks out of curiosity.

"You won't get to hang out with Mikuru-chan!" Haruhi replies then turns to Mikuru, "Speaking of which…!"

"Huh?" Mikuru takes a few steps back.

"Wear the nurse outfit today!" Haruhi jumps at Mikuru and proceeds to undress her.

"WAAAAA!!!" Mikuru screams.

"Uh…" Tsukimaru is completely at a loss of words.

"I'm out of here!" Kyon rushes his way out of the room.

Once Mikuru notices that Tsukimaru is still in the room, she cries, "MINAI DE!!! (PLEASE DON'T LOOK!!!)"

"Ki!" Tsukimaru quickly turns around and leaves.

Outside the clubroom, Kyon asks Tsukimaru, "So, are you joining?"

"…Well, since the club's co-founder seems normal…compared to the other co-founder…I might," Tsukimaru confesses.

Kyon just stares at Tsukimaru for a while, "…Don't you have something to tell me?"

"Huh?" Tsukimaru responds, "What do I have to tell you?"

"The truth," Kyon replies.

"…The…truth…?" Tsukimaru thinks for a while, "…Fine, I'm joining, since I might have a crush on one of those three girls…You happy now?!"

Kyon appears surprised and explains, "I mean if you're an alien or an esper…or something…"

"Alien? Esper?" Tsukimaru laughs, "Is that a **job class** in the club?"

"No…" Kyon thinks for a while, "He probably doesn't know…Nevermind."

"Huh? So, I can join, right?" Tsukimaru asks.

"Do what you want," Kyon makes his way out, "I'm heading to class."

"Ka?" Tsukimaru looks back at the closed door to the club room, "What about Suzumiya-san?"

"She'll come when she comes," Kyon replies.

"I…guess…" Tsukimaru thinks for a while, "Hey, wait for me!"

-- -- --

Back at his own apartment building, he unlocks and opens the door to his apartment. After entering the apartment and closing and locking his door, he drops his bag to the ground and heads straight to his bed…and falls facedown on his bed.

"Ke…" Tsukimaru sighs and rolls his body to look at the ceiling, "…For a first day…it was way too exciting…"

"Ka?" Tsukimaru thinks for a while, "Now that I think about it: I forgot to ask Kyon what we do in the **S.O.S.** Brigade!"

"I'll just ask him tomorrow!" Tsukimaru thinks again, "…If I don't do that stupid **déjà vu-time travel** thing again!"

"Geez!" Tsukimaru throws a pillow at the door, "Why the hell—"

-- -- -- -- --

"Why the hell—ITE!!! (OW!!!)" Tsukimaru gets hit in the face with a pillow.

He looks around and notices that he's back at the door to his apartment. He still has his bag in one hand and his keys in the other So, he yells, "WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!"

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

**Next Time on CoMpUtEr ViRuS…**

**Things get a bit weirder now that Tsukimaru has joined the S.O.S. Brigade.**

**Now, Haruhi has to make sure the club doesn't shut down!**

**What'll she do? "Let's make another movie!"**

**"****A movie?!****"**

**"****Not…ANOTHER movie!"**

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

**Random Notes:  
I find it amazing that I was able to finish the first chapter in one day****…****Seriously!  
Well, Tsukimaru obviously has his own expressions which are basically the ka-gyou (ka-row of the Japanese characters).  
Also, Itsuki doesn't appear, just yet. I'll have him appear in the next chapter, though.  
Okay? Good!  
I hope everyone understands what a timeslipper is! If not, go to Google and look up Axl-Low from Guilty Gear****…He should be a good enough example!  
Fine, I****'ll explain! A timeslipper has the ability to randomly travel back and forth through time.  
Now, you****'re saying:"We already have a time traveler! Mikuru!****"  
Let me clarify, he RANDOMLY travels through time. As in, he CANNOT control it!  
That should be enough.  
One more thing: The next thing that I'll submit is the first chapter of my "Yakusoku no Chi: Riviera" fanfic!  
See you next time!**


End file.
